Disappointment Can Be Fun

Okay. Confession.

*sigh*

I did not complete NaNoWriMo.

At first, I was upset. Disappointed. Melancholy. Now...not so much.

When I started, I had some grand illusions.

1. This story will be fun.
2. This story will be easy to write. (should have been a pretty clear sign right there)
3. This story will fall in line exactly the way I want it to. (another terrible omen)

Well, since I didn't have an outline to work from or any real clue as to which direction the story was headed, I just let my lead show me his life and, in the process, I saw the hidden strings behind those illusions. Actually, my CHARACTER showed me the strings. He's shown me a lot of things about pantsing too. And thank cheese and rice he did because I am so in love with the story now. Even though it's taken me to some VERY dark and uncomfortable places. *shivers*

So, I guess my point for this post is to not set boundaries on yourself. Or, rather, I won't set limits on myself. (Not that I won't have a daily writing goal. I think those are essential.) I'm just not going to sell my characters, myself, or possible future readers short by leaving stones unturned. There's a dark corner in that basement, and damn it, I'm going to go look and see what atrocities might lurk there...maybe not. Some dark corners are better left in the dark.

And if it takes me more than a month to write it, who cares?

I'm having fun.

Make Words, Don't Label

I have OCD. Well, I've never had a medical professional tell me for certain, but I'm pretty sure the tendencies are there. I use exactly three pumps of soap to wash my hands. Every time. Three. And I count them. Same with swipes of deodorant (twelve), locking the door (two), and handwashing gets a thirty count. I plan. I make lists. I count. I follow routines.
So, naturally, the title, "Plotter," fits me.

At least it did in the beginning.

I'd been stuck trying over and over to write a full-length fiction novel and I couldn't make it happen. Then, in 2010, I had the amazing opportunity to meet one of my favorite authors. I had just learned the terms "Plotter" and "Pantser,"and I asked her which title she claimed. She got a terrible look on her face and said, "Plotter through and through. I lean toward OCD."

And I knew, right then and there, that I was one too.

Yippee! Hooray! I'd found my people.

I embraced my new philosophy and managed to make it through the first manuscript in six months after three years of unsuccessful attempts.
Yes!

But when it came time to write another manuscript, my pantsing critique partners said, "Just try it. You might like it."
And since I consider myself an open minded individual, I did.

*gasp* It worked. I made it through the second MS in under 90 days. Huh.

It was a fluke. Had to be. I COUNT things. I'm a PLOTTER.

Then, I sat down to plot the next project and ran into a wall. I spent three months (I counted) plotting a novel, but when it came time for me to begin, I was blank. I had invented a whole culture of people with a religion, their own language, and a written history. Seriously, I have two binders full of notes. But in the end, the story wouldn't come out.

Why? Because I had wrung the neck of my story, choking and choking it with details until it expired. However, I had to keep writing and forced myself to move on to something else.

Once again I took the advice of my critique partners and, with only a speck of concept in mind, I ran with it. Now, I'm almost 14,000 words in after less than a week and it's amazing. Will I plot in the future? Yes. Some stories have to be handled that way. Will I obsess over the minutia? More than likely, but I will try anything as long as I get it written.

The lesson here, for me at least, is to not put a label on yourself or your technique. Hell, don't even claim one camp or the other. Screw the debates, the theories, the tips, tricks, and utensils. Eat with your fingers. Allow your characters to move and breathe and live without your direction. Let boxes arrive at their doorsteps from unknown senders. Push them off of cliffs and into battles. Give them voices and flaws and annoying quirks like counting how many strokes of deodorant they use. *grin*
Plot it, pants it, do both. Just WRITE.

Follow your characters into the darkness and throw monsters at them.

Among those monsters, you might find a home.

Pay Up, Mothertrucker

First, let me say that I'm only 4000 words behind on my NaNoWriMo schedule. Woo! Not bad considering I only started YESTERDAY. But, the new project is fun--very dark and extra creeptacular. The Story Masters workshop was AH-mazing, insightful, and brain-exploding good fun.

Second, a lesson about paying for a tattoo.

WARNING:
RANT AHEAD
PROCEED WITH CAUTION

My tattoo work is expensive.

Not because I think I'm superior, it's expensive because I'm good at what I do. You aren't just paying for supplies, nitwit. You're also paying for 12+ years of experience, education regarding the prevention of disease transmission, the apprenticeship I bothered to undergo because I refused to be a scum of the earth scratcher, cleaniness, expertise, professionalism, and talent. Not to mention the time I spend on your piece (no matter how big or small) because I actually CARE about my work and the HEART I put into every single tattoo.

I work at a shop that has been in business for 20 years. We've lasted because we have respect for the tradition of tattooing, spend time with you and your design, and generally give a f**k about you and what you are putting on your body FOREVER.

I realize that there are many, MANY shops who would do your tattoo cheaper. Hell, they might even do a decent job.

But DO NOT disrespect me, my passion, my shop, or my integrity by trying to pull off some cheap, flea-market haggle over the price. It makes you look stupid.

And it makes me want to stab you in the face.

Do your g*ddamn research. Look at my work, talk to people I've tattooed, and keep in mind this simple rule that has been around western tattooing since...well, it's been around for a very long time--

CHEAP TATTOOS AREN'T GOOD AND GOOD TATTOOS AREN'T CHEAP.

And you always get what you pay for.

Never Enough Time

I'm headed to Houston on Wednesday for the Story Master's Weekend with the legendary Christopher Vogler, Donald Maass, and James Scott Bell.

So I have a billion and two things to get done before I go. Boring stuff like laundry and packing, but also my prep for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month for those who don't know). And I have tattoos to do tomorrow. Five appointments, back to back, and whatever time left over I have to use to make sure everything at the shop is taken care of for my absence.

Cheese and effing rice, that's not enough time.

I never have enough time.

Managing a busy tattoo shop, balancing quality time with my awesome husband (it's our anniversary today, by the way), trying (and mostly failing) to see my family, and portioning away what little left over time I have for writing?

*sigh* I'm exhausted just typing that.

But there are so many writers in the world who juggle most of that and MORE. Some of them have children too. How do they do it? How can they possibly make all of it happen?

Mad skills.
And a whole lot of discipline.

Skills I got.
Discipline?
Meh, not so much.

I think participating in NaNoWriMo will really help. To save face among my fellow writer buddies and make my goal of 50,000 words by November 30th, I HAVE to stay disciplined. I have to put at least 1700 words on the page every day, which means writing through every available second.

And I will.
Why?

Eyes on the prize, my friends. Eyes on the prize.

Stay tuned this month to see if I'm a good juggler.

Of Course it Hurts

Yesterday, I had the unique privilege of tattooing my husband. I'm sure there are plenty of wives out there who would kill for love to have the opportunity to do this to their beloved spouses. For all the times the laundry didn't make it into the basket. For all the dishes left in the sink. For the countless hours said spouse has spent in front of the television instead of vacuuming. You could have all your revenge fantasies fulfilled in under two hours! Think of the possibilities...

Alas, no matter how often my darling infuriates me, I cannot bear to see him in pain. I actually have to disconnect myself from his suffering in order to perform the task at hand. Which, last night, was a huge tattoo on his side.

He grunted, he groaned, he used several curse words to address the situation. But, he survived. The tattoo looks great too.

This morning, I received a rejection on one of my submissions and it made me again see the similarities between tattooing and writing.

Both of those paths require dedication, hard work, and lots of cursing along the way. When I first started my tattoo apprenticeship, I would get so frustrated and infuriated that I wanted to throw in the towel on MANY occasions. I didn't. I kept my goals in sight, kept my chin up, and persevered.

And although it hurts sometimes to learn an art like tattooing, I refused to be denied. I intend on maintaining the same attitude where writing is concerned.

As for getting tattooed...

YES it hurts. There are needles creating about 1000 holes per minute on the surface of your skin, effectively removing the entire top layer which feels like a 2nd degree burn, but you are left with something amazing as a result.

And rejections?

I grunted, I groaned, and I used some very effective cursing to address the situation.

Yes, rejections hurt too. But in the end, you might end up with something amazing. 

The First Time

When you sit down to get your first tattoo, you might experience any or all of the following:

Hesitation
Nausea
Sweat
Disbelief
Fear
Paranoia
The all-consuming need to run away as fast and far as your shaking knees will allow, leaving a perfect cut-out of your form in the nearest wall, just like in cartoons.

That's almost what I was feeling when I started writing this, my first ever blog post.

But, after many, many tattoos, both on myself and on the thousands of first time customers I've dealt with, I know that the key to overcoming those feelings is to sit down, shut up, and DO IT. Besides, it's only ink.

Well, ink of a very permanent nature. Tattoos are forever. What you say on your skin tells something about you, good or bad, or both.

And a blog?
It's permanent too. Mostly. It will also say something about you, good or bad...or downright ugly.

*nagging butterflies begin to flitter in my gut*

What if I say something wrong? What if my ramblings present a less than flattering image? What if I pass out and pee myself? (Seriously, I had that happen to a customer once.)

*palms sweating*

Before I begin to panic, before I leap from my chair and bust through the wall, I think about what I say to every first time victim customer--

There are only two rules you need to remember:

1. Breathe.
2. Sit still.

So, I did (except for my fingers on the keyboard).

And it felt like someone was slicing me open with a razor wasn't so bad after all.